For All The Ladies Out There
by sabra jaguar
Summary: Lulu Hogg's holding a bachelor auction, and Daisy's sold on the idea. There may be a teensy bit of opposition when she gets Bo and Luke involved, not all of it from them.
1. Chapter 1

Hi! This is my first Dukes fanfic so please be nice and review! The idea came from an episode of Full House, and a conversation with my best friend. And if y'all think the Dukes of Hazzard is mine, then I got some beach front property I'd like to offer you, dirt cheap. Contact Boss Hogg for details. (All errors I will claim.)

"Thanks, fellas!" Daisy Duke said, waving to her cousins Bo and Luke as they sped away in General Lee after dropping her off at work. The familiar tune of Dixie floated after them, the car horn's song sounding downright cheerful on the warm autumn day. 'Course, the boys didn't know what Daisy was going to get them into, or they probably would have changed their tune. But not even Daisy knew what the day would bring for her and the rest of the Dukes, so she entered the Boars Nest and got right to work waiting on the customers.

While washing glasses, out of the corner of her eye she saw Boss Hogg leaving his office, a sheaf of papers tucked under his arm. Being understandably wary of the county commissioner's actions, especially since they usually tended to land Bo and Luke in hot water, she watched closely as Boss tacked one of the sheets to the wall and laid the rest of the stack on the bar. She also kept a close eye on her tip jar's contents when Boss Hogg came in its vicinity, considering his sticky fingers.

"Oh, Daisy Duke, come over here a minute," he motioned her over to where he was standing, once he had finished with his own errand.

"Yeah, Boss?" she asked, surreptitiously moving her tips from his range of vision.

"I want you to pass these papers out to everyone who comes through the Boars Nest today," he answered, indicating the stack of flyers he'd brought out.

Daisy took one of the flyers and read it thoughtfully, elbows propped on the bar's smooth surface. "Lulu Hogg's First Annual Charity Bachelor Auction." She stopped reading and looked at Boss Hogg in surprise. "Oh, that sounds like so much fun! I can't wait to see this!" she exclaimed with a smile that lit up her face.

"Never mind that!" Boss waved his hand dismissively. Daisy read on, "Lucky ladies with the highest bids get to choose their own Prince Charming to take to the Lulu Hogg Charity Ball. Gentlemen wanting to participate, sign up in the Boars Nest by this weekend. Auction to take place next Thursday, with dance held on Saturday. Proceeds benefit Hazzard County Orphanage. Start saving up, ladies!

Boss Hogg had moved on by the time Daisy finished reading the flyer so she laid it back down on top of the rest and went back to wiping off the mugs. But she couldn't get the auction out of her mind. On a whim, she stepped out from behind the bar and looked at the empty sign-up sheet, which no one seemed interested in, then impulsively signed her cousins' names to it. They wouldn't mind too much, she figured. Daisy debated whether Uncle Jesse would be interested in participating, and then decided he'd probably go along, since it was for a good cause. Besides, if he didn't want to, she could always erase the name. Jesse Duke's name was added to the list, right after Bo and Luke's.

Daisy hummed a little tune while she waited on the tables, when the door opened and Deputy Enos Strate stumbled through it. Daisy gave out the last mug on her tray and glided back to where Enos deposited himself on a handy barstool.

"Hey, Enos, what can I get you?" she cheerfully asked the young man.

"Oh, hey there, Daisy," he greeted her in his usual shy manner. "Just a glass of buttermilk, if it ain't too much trouble."

"Oh, sugar, it ain't no trouble at all," she answered, smiling as she went to fill his request. She handed him his glass and gently placed one of the flyers down beside it.

Enos glanced down at it in confusion. "What's this for, Daisy?" he asked.

"Miss Lulu's holdin' a charity bachelor auction," Daisy explained, pointing out where that was stated on the flyer. "Do you think you'll sign up? It sounds like it'll be a lot of fun."

Enos picked up the paper and read it, then his eyes met Daisy's for the briefest moment before dropping back down again. "I don't know, Daisy. Likely I'll be on duty them days, and 'sides, I probably won't get nobody to bid on me anyhow. But it's real nice of you to offer; I sure do appreciate it.

Daisy took the deputy's hand, trying to encourage him. "Oh, Enos, I'm sure Boss would give you those days off to take part in Miss Lulu's auction, and I just bet you that you get the whole room biddin' on you." She gave him a big smile and added, "But that don't make no difference 'cause I'm gonna outbid them all, honey!"

"You mean that, Daisy?" Enos took another look at the flyer and then back at his friend Daisy, the girl he wished was more than a friend. He grinned and chuckled softly to himself. "In that case, you talked me into it. Where do I sign up?"

"Right under Uncle Jesse's name. There, you're all set."

"And what is it you got Uncle Jesse's John Hancock tacked onto this time?" A voice asked behind them, joining the conversation.

"Hey, Cooter!" Daisy greeted the Hazzard County mechanic. She handed him another flyer. "You want to sign up, sugar?"

Cooter Davenport scratched his head under his ball cap thoughtfully. "Now I ain't quite sure just yet. Gimme a day or two to think about it, alright?" He looked over the names already on the list, peering a little more closely at the signatures. "Now, I seen Bo, and Luke, and even Uncle Jesse's handwritin' enough to know that that ain't theirs." He turned to look straight at Daisy. "Do they know you signed them up?" he asked her pointblank.

"Well…not yet," she answered hesitantly.

Cooter stared at her a long moment, then said seriously, "I think they might wanna find out about all this, 'fore you're pushing them onto some stage somewheres, don't you?" He softened the observation with a mischievous grin and added, "Cause I get the feelin' your Uncle Jesse and them cousins of yours is gonna look pretty silly standin' there not knowin' what's going on, with Miz Tisdale and all them other gals out there biddin' on them, don't you?"

Daisy laughed. "Don't worry, Cooter. I'm gonna tell them just as soon as I'm off work.

_Friends and neighbors, I'm worried about Daisy. I don't know how ol' Jesse's gonna take the news! Y'all sit tight._


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! Y'all are so sweet; I love ya. I'll try to update as often as I can, but I don't know how that'll go. Any suggestions for improvement would be joyfully received. Strange I didn't get any offers on that property, though…if you close your eyes, strain real hard, and have a real good imagination, you can almost hear the ocean. Oh well, maybe Boss will have some news for me later. (The Dukes of Hazzard is still not mine, by the way) Continuing on…

"Ya did what?" an irate male voice pierced the stillness surrounding the old farmhouse, startling the livestock outside.

_Well, what do ya know? He took it better than I thought._

"Now, Uncle Jesse, boys, please don't get upset," Daisy pleaded with her red-faced uncle and two distressed cousins.

"Daisy, how can we not get upset?" Bo steamed. "Ya signed us up without even askin'! How's we supposed to feel?"

"Bo, just settle down," their uncle, calmed down somewhat from his own initial outburst, interjected. Bo automatically answered, "Yes, sir," and sank back down in his seat next to Luke.

"Daisy." Uncle Jesse turned to look his niece square in the eye. Daisy wanted to turn away but could not pry her gaze from her uncle's weathered features. "Ya want to explain how come ya signed us all up for this?" he asked quietly, but in a tone meant to be answered.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Jesse, if I knew y'all would take it so bad I wouldn't have, but it sounded like it'd be a lot of fun, an' nobody was signin' up to be a part, an' I didn't want Miss Lulu to be disappointed--"

"An' so you got us involved," Luke finished with a sigh. "Well, at least it ain't Boss Hogg's event."

"If ya really don't want to, I can erase y'all's names," Daisy added in a subdued tone.

"No, ya can't," Uncle Jesse said firmly, surprising the entire family. "Like it or not—and I ain't sayin' I do or I don't, now—my name is a' signed to a paper promisin' that I'd take part in something an' to me that's as binding as if I'd spit and shook with Lulu Hogg herself. It wouldn't be right to make a promise and then take it back, even if it wasn't me that said it." He looked around at each member of his family, making sure they were listening. "That there's a contract, far as I'm concerned, and it's my name on the line if I ever backed out of a contract." Now Jesse Duke sighed in resignation. "Guess I'd better get my good clothes out and ready."

"Oh, thank you, Uncle Jesse!" Daisy threw her arms around his neck. Jesse allowed himself a small smile and hugged her back, unable to be really angry with her anymore. "Yer welcome, girl." He pulled away and held up a cautioning finger, catching her attention once more. "Jest next time ya volunteer us, see that we want to be volunteered first, ok?"

Daisy smiled, "Ok."

_Now I knew all along he wouldn't really be mad at Daisy, didn't you?_

Bo and Luke looked at each other for a long, uncomfortable moment, then Luke said, "Look, Daisy, if it means this much to you, I guess we're in, too." Bo nodded in reluctant agreement.

Now Daisy gave each of her cousins a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, fellas, I love ya! This really does mean a lot. I tell ya what, how about as thanks, I wash and wax the General Lee so he's all cleaned up for the dance, too?"

"Daisy, you don't hafta do that," Luke began, but she interrupted, "Boys, I was gonna wax Dixie since Cooter was done fixing her anyhow, so what do ya say? I want to do this for you, ok?"

"Well, all right then," the boys agreed.

"Just wait till they get all their errands in town done first," Jesse told her with a twinkle in his eye. "Like as not the General would need another bath once they got back!"

_Now I'm glad the Dukes took the news so good. But I sorta had a feeling they would. Ain't nobody can stay mad at Daisy, no matter how hard they try._

A/N: I really hope I don't bore anybody, but I love the family interaction. I'm hoping to get a little action in later, once Boss starts plotting. I want this story to be a little of everything, since that's what the show is. But right now, nothing is written.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry it took so long to update, but things have been really crazy lately. Hopefully I'll be able to put up the next couple of chapters fairly soon, and figure out where this story is going. (And they're still not mine.)

Boss Hogg and Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane watched as another young man signed his name to the sheet tacked onto the wall. Boss had to admit, it was filling faster than he had expected it would. But then, maybe it didn't hurt that Daisy Duke was helping promote the event. When Lulu had proposed her plan for a bachelor auction to him, he'd nearly laughed in her face at the absurdity of it. The fact that she'd gotten the idea from some big-city entertainment column didn't exactly win him over, either. But Lulu wouldn't take no for an answer and Boss wanted to please her, if only for his own emotional well-being.

"Say, Rosco, let's go take a look at who we got signed up here," he said to the sheriff, who was hovering at his side. Boss took one look at the sign-up sheet and a couple names in particular jumped out at him…

"Oh, no!" Boss wailed, slapping a hand to his forehead.

Rosco was at his side in an instant. "What's wrong, Boss? Your head hurtin' or somethin'?" He tried to check Boss Hogg for injury but Boss pushed him away impatiently.

"No, but your brain musta got broke. I heard it rattlin' around in your thick skull!" He jabbed a stubby finger in the sign-up sheet's direction. "Looky there who's signed up first!"

Rosco stepped closer and examined the sheet. "Bo, Luke, and Jesse Duke," he answered matter-of-factly, then caught sight of the next name under theirs. "And that dipstick deputy of mine stuck his name on there too! I tell you what, Boss, him tryin' to sneak a day off like that--"

"Never mind Deputy Enos right now, lamebrain,"Boss Hogg interrupted, dismissing Rosco's outrage as trivial. "Them Dukes is what I'm worried about!"

"Why?" Rosco asked, confusion replacing ire in his tone. "It ain't like you're plannin' nothin'," he pointed out.

"Let's just say I'd like to keep out the riff-raff," Boss answered, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"That mean you ain't goin'?" a familiar, unwelcome voice said behind him.

Boss and Rosco spun around to see Bo, Luke and Jesse standing there. "Say, Rosco, you signin' up or something?" Bo asked casually, leaning up against the bar.

"Are you kiddin' me?" Rosco sputtered indignantly. "I ain't got time to just lollygag. With Enos fritterin' his time away on this, all the police work of Hazzard is gonna be pushed on me!"

"Speaking of police work, ain't it time you went and did some?" Boss interjected, cutting Rosco's tirade short.

The sheriff glared at Boss Hogg. "I'm gone! Fat little meadow muffin…Workin' my fingers to the bone, and do I get any time off or…"Rosco muttered as he stalked away to go back on duty.

The Dukes watched him go. "I pity the people of Hazzard, without Enos out there to keep him semi-honest," Luke commented.

"Yeah, but at least the girls of Hazzard is safe," Bo added with a laugh.

"Aw, come on, Bo. Give Rosco a break. Flash likes him, and she's a girl," Luke pointed out, speaking about the sheriff's basset hound. A grinning Bo conceded the point as they stepped over by Boss Hogg to view the sign-up sheet for themselves, trying to learn the particulars of what Daisy had gotten them into.

"I hope Miz Tisdale ain't seen Uncle Jesse's name on this thing," Bo said quietly, just out of their uncle's earshot. "She'd probably break the bank tryin' to outbid all them other ladies."

Luke's lips twitched upwards in response. "Heck, she'd probably rob the bank if she thought she had to, to get Uncle Jesse," he answered jokingly.

_Them boys was only kidding, of course, but their words fell on Boss Hogg's fat little ears like a Waylon Jennings hit. While he was trying to put the Duke boys' words to more practical use, who should bust through the doors of the Boars Nest but Lulu Hogg herself._

"Chickabiddy!" she called, striding towards her husband after spotting him by the sign-up sheet. "How many we got signed up?" she asked him curiously.

"See for yourself, my little pork chop," he said unenthusiastically as Bo and Luke stepped back to make room for her.

"Oh, look at all the names!" she cried in delight. "This'll make a ton of money for the orphanage!" Lulu turned until she was facing Jesse and the boys. "And I got you Dukes to thank for it!"

"Us?" Jesse and his nephews all asked in confusion.

"Them?" Boss Hogg also asked, equally surprised, and not at all happy.

"I cain't thank y'all enough for signin' up first and settin' such a good example for all the other menfolk in Hazzard! Especially you, Jesse Duke, your signin' up influenced all the older fellas who thought this event was just for the younger folk. Between the three of you, ya got 'most every unattached fella in town to consider signin' up! Thank you!" Lulu looked like she was ready to grab all three Dukes up in a huge bear hug.

_Friends and neighbors, I think that could just about kill a man. Lulu Hogg's a powerful lot of woman._

"Well…" Jesse Duke began uncomfortably, "it wasn't us exactly that signed up. Daisy's the one put our names down," he said, not wanting to take credit where it wasn't due. He added quickly, "Not that we ain't willin' to help out or anything. We's happy to do our part, Lulu."

Lulu dismissed his explanation excitedly. "That just means I got Daisy to thank too, instead of just you fellas. Now, I gotta run. I got so many things to get ready! J.D., you can handle that list I gave you to take care of, cain't you?" She had turned to speak the last part to Boss Hogg.

"Don't worry, sugarpie, I'll get Rosco right on it."

"J.D. Hogg!" The shout shook the rafters of the Boars Nest, causing heads to turn their direction. "You was supposed to take care of--"

At this point, Jesse began herding his nephews towards the exit. "No sense us getting'in the middle of their little argument," he explained, his eyes twinkling. "Don't want you two boys exposed to that kind of violence."

Uncle Jesse, Bo and Luke were all laughing as they reached Jesse's white pick-up truck and the boys' General Lee.


	4. Chapter 4

Next chapter! Thanks so much for your reviews. I hope everybody likes where this story is going. Once I figure out where that is. Let me know what you think, good, bad or otherwise. (Save me from making a mistake!) And still not mine (pout).

The Charger's engine roared, the bright orange car eager for open road as Bo pulled out of the parking lot. Bo and Luke didn't feel much differently. The new day had brought a new perspective for the boys. After experiencing Lulu Hogg's gratitude first-hand, they were feeling somewhat better about being involved in her charity auction. Despite being at odds with Boss Hogg most of the time, the Dukes truly liked Lulu and considered her a friend, with Daisy being especially close to the woman. Anything they could do to help her event succeed, well, they were happy to do it. And it didn't exactly hurt that Boss wasn't thrilled by their involvement, either.

"Well, Luke," Bo said as he guided General Lee around a sharp turn in the road, "Looks like you and me got our weekend all planned out for us next week, thanks to Daisy and Miss Lulu." He looked over at Luke and grinned. "And I'm sure some of them girls will even take pity on you, seein's how this auction's for charity," he teased his older cousin.

"Me?" Luke laughed in disbelief. "Cousin, the only reason they'd be biddin' on you is outta charity! And I bet them bids probably wouldn't amount to nothin' either!" He leaned back in his seat and stared ahead, arms crossed. "They'd probably be lucky to get a dollar outta your hide."

"Oh, yeah?" The competitive streak that fueled the Duke boys began to assert itself. "What do you want to bet I get higher bids than you do?" Bo issued the challenge.

Luke thought for a moment. "How about, loser pays for both of us at the Boars Nest for a month?" he suggested finally.

"You're on!" Bo freed up one hand long enough to shake on it, and the bet was official.

_What do y'all wanna bet it's Uncle Jesse that wins?_

The song of Rosco's siren sounded behind them, drowning out the rest of what they were saying. "Hey, Bo neither one of us is gonna win your little wager if Rosco tosses us in jail," Luke pointed out, debate temporarily dropped.

"You got a point there, cousin. Hang on!"

_Now ol' Sheriff Rosco wasn't having too good of a day. Finding out his deputy was abandoning him for a couple afternoons for the charity auction, even if it was being run by Rosco's sister, just kinda rubbed him the wrong way, since that meant he couldn't get no time off. He also shared in Boss' irritation that the Dukes was gettin' involved. The man was havin' the sort of fit that only arresting somebody could fix, and he figured catchin' the Duke boys on a phony charge could be just the thing to turn his day around. Kinda looks like Lulu's sign-up paper ain't the only list Bo and Luke's names are high up on, don't it._

"I tell you what, Flash, I'm gonna nail 'em this time! Them Duke boys is as good as in the slammer!" he giggled, watching with glee as the boys made another desperate-looking turn. "I don't need no deputy dipstick messin' up catchin' them Dukes!"

_Rosco does just fine messin' that up his own self._

Rosco hugged his dog as best he could with one arm while turning the wheel crazily with the other. "Let him go waste his afternoons. You're as good as ten deputies anyways, Flash. If you could only drive a car, I'd make you deputy, an' you could have your own patrol car, and shiny badge, and I wouldn't have to rely on deputies I can't rely on…Ooh, I love it, I love it!" Rosco grinned and giggled again at the thought of Flash behind the wheel, helping him chase down the Dukes.

_Man, I hope Flash don't take him up on all that. Then them boys'd really be up a creek._

"Bo, the creek!"

_Instead of jumpin' the creek, like they are right now._

"Hang on, cousin!" Bo exclaimed again, hitting the accelerator as the creek's bank loomed ahead. The ground fell away and the car grew airborne…

_You know what, I'm glad I ain't in Luke's shoes at the moment. All he's got to hang onto is either Bo or the General, and they's both busy right now. Me, I'm gonna find somethin' a little more solid to grab onto, and be right back with ya. Hope y'all do the same._

(And R and R, of course, please!)


	5. Chapter 5

A/n: Figured I may as well post this too, while I'm here. Hope you like it. Moving on…

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw!" Bo sang out as General Lee bounded like a jackrabbit across the gap made by the creek bed. The two cousins grinned at each other as they were jostled around by the rough impact made as the car slammed down on all four wheels on the other side.

_Well, looks like the Dukes made it. Sheriff Rosco, on the other hand…_

Rosco squeezed his eyes shut tightly, not wanting to watch as the front end of his patrol car plummeted down the short distance, ending up half-sunk in the mucky water.

…_didn't._

Bo stepped on the brake, and both he and Luke looked back to see if Rosco was all right. The sheriff was waving an angry fist and shouting something the Dukes were probably better off not hearing.

"Well, looks like he's ok," Luke said, chuckling at the familiar sight. He picked up the CB. "I'm gonna call Cooter on the CB to come fish him out."

Bo didn't answer. He was trying to restart General Lee, but the engine refused to turn over. He turned to Luke, an apologetic look on his face. "Luke, I think you best call up Cooter for us, too. General Lee ain't startin'."

"What!" Luke cried in disbelief. "Bo, what'd ya do now?"

"I didn't do nothin'!"

_Remember how the boys' day started out so good?_

_Wouldn't ya just know it? As the boys climbed out to see what was ailin' old General Lee, along down the road came Deputy Enos, who pulled over and got out to take stock of the situation. Now he saw Bo and Luke with the General, Sheriff Rosco up the creek without a paddle, and put 2 and 2 together. And he got 4._

"I hate to do this, fellas," Enos said regretfully, placing handcuffs on the boys, who were beginning to feel fairly embarrassed by the whole situation. "Looks like I'm gonna have to arrest y'all."

_Looks like Enos is tryin' to earn that time off, don't it._

"Y'all don't think Daisy'll be too upset with me over this, do ya boys?" he asked worriedly.

_So Bo and Luke are the ones in handcuffs, and Enos is worried about how Daisy's gonna feel? Ya gotta love that boy's priorities._

"Don't worry, Enos. She knows you was just doin' your duty," the boys were quick to reassure him.

_Now by this time Rosco had managed to claw his way back up to solid ground, which was pretty good, seein' as how he also had Flash to rescue. He was mad as an old wet hen, or is it wet as an old mad hen? I'll let you figure it out. It's givin' me a headache._

"Enos!" the soggy Sheriff yelled, seeing the deputy making his arrest. "I had them Dukes right where I wanted them!"

"Sorry, Sheriff Coltrane," Enos answered with a sheepish grin. "I thought you wanted--"

"What I want," Rosco interrupted impatiently, "is for you to remember you're still on duty, boy, an' I'm still your supreme superior commander. And now what I want is you to stand there and guard these vehicles till Cooter can get mine to his garage and General Lee to impound." He put Flash down on the ground and drew his gun, aiming it at the Duke boys. "Now I'm gonna take your vehicle and the Duke boys and go lock 'em in jail! You got that?"

"Yes sir, Sheriff, read you loud and clear," Enos replied with another uncertain smile. He turned to face Bo and Luke, who both felt badly that Rosco was taking out his anger at them on Deputy Enos, their friend. "Looks like you're the Sheriff's prisoners now," Enos said apologetically to the Dukes.

"You're darn right they're my prisoners," Rosco grumbled, pushing Bo and Luke in front of him. "Enos may have cuffed ya, but I'm gonna stuff ya! Right into lock-up; I gotcha now! He herded the boys into Enos' patrol car, muttering before the engine drowned him out, "I didn't nearly drown just so Enos can take **my** arrests…"

_You don't figure Lulu Hogg is gonna change that auction's location to the jailhouse, do ya? 'Cause that may be the only way Bo and Luke is gonna be able to participate._


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry it's been a while. Been having a little trouble figuring out where I'm going up to a certain point. I love y'all who reviewed, and even those who haven't but have read the story. Constructive criticism appreciated and welcomed. Still not mine! Moving on…

_You'd think they'd start addin' a personal touch to that cell by now…_

Bo and Luke stared longingly at the cell key just inches from their reach, sighing as they figured it would be doing them just as much good if it were locked in Boss Hogg's safe. The boys, Luke especially, took stock of the familiar room, trying to find a way to lessen the gulf between them and their freedom. Unfortunately Rosco wasn't providing them any opportunities.

He also wasn't providing them any explanations for why he had them arrested, either. When they demanded to know the charges, his stock answer was, "You Duke boys is guilty of somethin' and whatever that somethin' is you're guilty of, that's what I'm chargin' you with!" Trying to understand Rosco's circular logic only gave them both a headache. So instead they resolved to keep their eyes open, while praying for a miracle.

_Would you have ever figured Boss Hogg for a miracle worker?_

_Boss rushed down to the jail as soon as he'd heard the news of Bo and Luke's capture. Sure enough, there they were, the boys inside the cell with hands wrapped around the bars tight enough to put a dent in the metal, and Rosco on the outside, looking proud enough to put a peacock to shame. It was sooooooooooooo tempting to just leave them there, but—_

"Rosco, you dodo, what are you trying to do to me?" he exclaimed in misery.

"Good news!" Rosco called out gleefully, not heeding Boss' words, or their meaning. "Boss, look there what I just done. Them Duke boys, I got 'em this time. I locked 'em up and threw away the key!"

"Well you better dig that key outta that trash can real fast or you're gonna get it!"

Rosco's expression changed to one of puzzlement. "Boss, I don't get it."

"I want them boys turned loose!"

_Did y'all see that comin'? Cause I sure didn't. Wonder if ol' Boss strained hisself with the effort it took to say that._

"What?" Bo and Luke, who had been listening for lack of anything better to do, stared at Boss, then at each other, in stunned disbelief. Not that they weren't happy by Boss' pronouncement but Boss Hogg setting them free usually meant he had a hidden agenda, that meant longer jail time later if they let him get away with it.

No less shocked was Rosco, who just stared at Boss. "Turn 'em what?"

"You heard what I said!" Boss Hogg shouted, mainly because he didn't have it in him to repeat those words.

"But, Boss…you sure you ain't delirious or somethin'?" Rosco tried again, failing to understand why Jefferson Davis Hogg would want Bo and Luke Duke released, after making it a lifelong goal to get them put away for life. "I thought you didn't want them involved in Lulu's--"

"Rosco," Boss Hogg said in a dangerously calm tone, "how would you like 50 percent of whatever I get next?"

"You mean, like 50/50?" Rosco said in delight, hardly believing his ears.

"On account of," Boss continued as though Rosco had never spoken up, "you're gonna get 50 percent of whatever punishment Lulu, my wife your sister, gives me if you don't let them Dukes go; and then you'll get 100 percent of Lulu moving right back in with you!"

_Now that is a threat, and Rosco knew it._

Rosco grumbled to himself as he retrieved the key to the cell and released the two very pleased Duke boys. "Alright, you're free to go!" he growled, waving them out of his sight. "Scuff my vehicle, throwed poor Flash into a state, and I can't do nothing about it…it wasn't even me that arrested them…all Enos' fault--"

"Thanks, Rosco!" the boys said, making it a point to wave good-bye. "Just, hush!" came the Sheriff's embittered response.

"You know," Luke said as they walked past a seething Boss Hogg, "we really oughtta send Miss Lulu a thank you. Maybe flowers, or candy, or somethin'."

"Oh, yeah, absolutely," Bo answered in complete agreement.

Boss watched the boys exit the jail and kept his eye on them until they were out of his line of vision. Then he turned to his sheriff and lowered his voice conspiratorially. "Rosco, we need to talk."

_Uh huh, I kinda figured Lulu's wrath wasn't the only thing on Boss' mind when he freed our boys. Whatever he's got cookin' I hope Bo and Luke don't end up getting burned._


	7. Chapter 7

a/n: Hi, I'm back. Thanks for all the reviews. Keep em coming, please, I love getting feedback. Hopefully it makes me a better, **more motivated** writer. Questions, constructive criticisms, swapped recipes; I'll joyfully accept whatever y'all throw my way. You'll have to forgive me, all I know about cars is they make great lawn ornaments. Anyway, moving on…

Once Bo and Luke left the courthouse they made a beeline for Cooter's garage, to see how General Lee fared. The mechanic was in good spirits as they arrived.

"You know, General Lee should be in a lot worse condition than he is, seein' the kind of stunts y'all put him through," Cooter said, glancing over at them as the three men peered under the Charger's hood and he pointed out what the problem had been. "As it was, it was just a question of tightening up what y'all boys shook loose. But the old boy should run fine now, and here comes the part y'all love so much," Cooter grinned and rubbed thumb and forefinger together meaningfully.

Luke sighed as he and Bo reluctantly accepted the bill for what they owed Cooter. "Pleasure doin' business, gentlemen," Cooter said with a laugh, pocketing the amount they were able to give him. He knew they were good for the rest.

"That just means you can afford to buy us a round at the Boars Nest," Bo replied, trying his best to persuade Cooter into spreading the wealth.

"No can do, boys, mortgage is comin' due on this old garage," the mechanic answered, and then frowned as a thought occurred to him. "Speakin' of the Boars Nest, I seen Daisy in there earlier. Guess that means she ain't told you yet about that paper, huh?"

"Oh, she told us, all right," Luke said, smiling ruefully.

"Guess Uncle Jesse took the news better than I thought." Cooter grinned again, saying "Now if it'd been me in Daisy's shoes, I'd a been tellin' old Jesse over the CB on my way outta Hazzard!"

"Cooter, I wouldn't want to see you in Daisy's shoes!"

The boys and Cooter all shared a laugh at that, then Luke said, "I'm surprised she didn't try to sign you up for that auction, Cooter."

Cooter closed the General's hood and leaned back against the car, crossing his arms across his chest. "She did, Lucas, she did. But I don't think I can do it."

"Why not?" Bo asked curiously. "Don't tell me Daisy's charms is wearin' off?"

Cooter shrugged. "Oh, it ain't got nothing to do with that cousin of yours. She could charm a rattlesnake outta striking. But I got too much work to do. Someone's got to keep this county runnin', boys, and I mean on four wheels, not hot air, if ya get my drift," he nodded meaningfully in the direction of the county courthouse.

_Me personally, I think old Cooter just don't want to be caught dead in a suit._

The boys thanked Cooter and climbed in General Lee, getting ready to head back to the farm. Cooter patted the General's hood, giving advice he expected would probably go unheeded. "Hey, y'all keep it between the ditches next time, ok? Not that I mind the business, but the poor old General is gettin to be more patched together than Granny's quilts!"

The boys laughed and agreed. "Take 'er easy," he called as they left.

_You know, gossip may be the one thing in Hazzard that flies faster than General Lee. So of course, news of the "Lulu Hogg First Annual Charity Bachelor Auction" spread like wildfire, with Ms. Mabel Tillingham, Hazzard County switchboard operator, doing her best to keep it fueled. Now she was lookin forward to it too, since she was plannin' to bid on one of the Duke boys. Which one she's after, I don't even think she knows just yet. Y'all reckon she knows how stiff the competition could get?_

_Anyhow, it shouldn't come as no shock that Miz Emma Tisdale got wind of it, and who was signed up to take part. Now, y'all know Hazzard's postmistress has got it bad for Uncle Jesse, so she's made it a point to free up her weekend. And when old Jesse showed up at the post office to drop off a package, she made certain to let him know her intentions._

"Identification, Jesse," she said when he walked in.

_Even romance has to take a backseat to regulations, you know._

"All right, Emma, I got it right here, and I got number one," he answered her, handing over the ID and the number he'd just taken.

Miz Tisdale smiled coyly in his direction as she accepted both, her hand brushing his ever-so-slightly. "Oh, you'll always be number one in my book, Jesse," she practically swooned.

Jesse turned his head slightly so she couldn't see him roll his eyes. "Could I just mail this out, please?" he asked politely, trying not to let her attentions strain his manners.

"Oh, sure, I guess you're probably real busy getting' ready for that auction coming up," she sighed dreamily, taking the parcel he handed her. She leaned over the counter towards him and said, "Guess you know where I'll be on them days, huh, Jesse? And who I'll be bidding on?"

_I swear, I think she just batted her eyes at him!_

Jesse began to sweat at the thought. If he'd been uncomfortable with the thought of being involved in the auction before, now he was downright afraid. It was hard enough holding Emma Tisdale at bay when the only place he really saw her was the post office, and here he had a counter in between!

"Um, that's uh, real nice, Emma; I guess I'll see you there then." And with that, Jesse bolted.

Miz Tisdale watched wistfully as Jesse left. "My, that Jesse Duke! I hope I have enough money to land him at that auction!" She allowed herself a moment more to daydream about the prospect, before returning to sorting the mail.

_Miz Tisdale sure is something, ain't she. Wonder if all that mail's going in the right slots, after old Jesse's visit. Sure hope them ain't my letters._


	8. Chapter 8

(Honestly, we're getting close to the big event. Just one more chapter to get through, hopefully.)

_Well, the days leading up to Lulu's charity auction passed by quicker than the Duke men woulda wanted, till before they knew it, the big day arrived. Daisy kept her promise to polish up the General Lee, and by the time the boys was done with their own chores, they couldn't hardly believe the difference._

"Hey, how 'bout that? There really was a car under all that clay!" Luke said, impressed by the change. "The General looks great, Daisy!"

"Don't he, though?" Daisy laughed. "If General Lee looked any prettier, I'd have to tie a ribbon around him!"

The boys shared a look of alarm. "Now, don't go doin' that to him!" Bo said quickly, trying to protect the General from such dishonor.

"Relax, fellas, I was just kiddin'." She smiled, taking pity on her cousins and wrapping an arm around each boy's waist. "C'mon, it's time y'all got ready, too."

Both boys cast one last worried glance back at General Lee, as if to ensure that the car wouldn't suffer through the indignity Daisy had suggested. Only then did they relax enough to allow her to guide them back inside the old farmhouse.

The next few hours were spent getting last-minute details taken care of: ties straightened, boots shined, lint brushed from suits. Daisy did most of the inspections and was about to critique her cousins' efforts when they all heard a knock at the door. Daisy paused in what she was doing to answer it, and discovered Deputy Enos standing there, shyly holding hat in hand.

"Hey, Enos, what can I do for you?" she asked with a big smile, which began to fade as he continued to stand there without speaking, playing nervously with his hat and avoiding her eyes. "You ain't here to arrest Bo and Luke again, are you?" Daisy asked anxiously, glancing back at her cousins, who threw her a questioning look in return.

Enos ventured a quick glance into Daisy's worried eyes. "Oh no, Daisy, it ain't nothin' like that. I—can I talk with you a minute?" He waved to the other Dukes inside, who by this time had also dropped everything to come see what the deputy had come for. "Oh, hey, Bo, Luke, Uncle Jesse; is it all right if I talk to Daisy? It won't take but a minute."

The boys and Jesse nodded their understanding and left Daisy and the deputy standing alone in the doorway. "So, what is it you need to talk about, Enos?" Daisy asked once her family had gone. Enos had politely declined an invitation to come inside.

Enos hesitated a moment before answering quietly, "Look, Daisy, it was real nice of you to make me that promise the other day, but I been thinkin' about it an awful lot since then and…well, I know y'all ain't got a lot of money, and while it's real unlikely anyone would really bid all that much on me, they might since this is for the orphanage and I just wanted—"

Daisy held her hands up in confusion, interrupting the man. "Enos, honey, what are ya tryin' to say? Just come right out and say it, ok?" she said gently, trying to work through his speech and getting a headache for her efforts.

"I just wanted to say I'll understand if ya can't keep that promise ya made me, Daisy," he finally answered. "Just the fact that you was willing to say all them things the other day was enough to make me the happiest fella in Hazzard. I just don't want to put you through all that trouble."

Daisy listened patiently while the deputy spoke. Then she said firmly, "Now Enos Strate, are you sayin' you don't want to go to that dance with me?"

Enos stammered in surprise, "N-no Daisy, I ain't sayin'—"

"Cause if you don't want me to bid on you then I ain't gonna bid on nobody else. I got my heart set on you takin me to that dance, and I ain't gonna settle for nobody else." Daisy smiled fondly at the endearing man who stood dazedly in front of her, trying to process why his attempt to back down gracefully was meeting with such resistance. She knew what it had cost him to try to talk her out of her promise. She added, "Besides, my Uncle Jesse raised me to keep my promises, and I made you one, and that means I'm gonna bid on you tonight and get you to take me to that dance." Daisy tossed her head decisively, sending strands of light brown hair whipping around her face. "So I guess you're stuck with me whether you like it or not, honey!"

_Ain't that boy learned by now you can't talk Daisy outta nothin' she got her mind set on? Shoot, he coulda asked Bo and Luke. They'da told him that. Course, she can't exactly starch old Enos' boxers…_

Enos stared at Daisy Duke for a moment, then grinned shyly, still not knowing what to say.

Daisy took the deputy's hat from his unresisting fingers, set it gently on his head, then placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Enos, I gotta run. Me and my cousins still need to finish getting ready and I'm guessin' you still got some things to get done, too. I'll see you tonight at the auction, ok, sugar?"

"Ok, Daisy," Enos answered mechanically, still grinning like a fool, still a little dazed by the kiss. "Bye, Daisy." He turned to leave, without even realizing he'd done so.

_Ol' Enos was so throwed off by Daisy's kiss he missed the porch steps completely and ended up landing in the dust next to the chickens. Well, I guess there's worse places to land, on a farm. Hope he's ok drivin'._

The Duke boys stood at attention, all decked out in their Sunday best, while Daisy looked them over critically. She straightened Luke's collar, brushed Bo's hair out of his eyes, and then gave them both a big grin.

"You fellas look so good!" she exclaimed. "If we wasn't cousins, and I didn't already promise Enos I'd choose him… Oh, I don't know which one of you I'd pick!"

"Now Daisy," her uncle said gently, turning her attention away from her two squirming cousins, "About that promise ya made to Enos…"

"Yes, Uncle Jesse?" she asked.

"Now I know you intend to keep it, and I want ya to keep any promise you make—ya know that—but I don't want ya feelin' too bad if ya can't this time. I mean, you ain't the only young lady there that's gonna be biddin' and there may be someone out there that's just as determined as you are to get Enos to take her to that dance. And I know Enos ain't gonna want ya feelin' bad if ya can't keep it through no fault of your own. Ok, Daisy?"

Daisy nodded. "I understand, Uncle Jesse, but I ain't just gonna give up on a friend! I'll remember what you said, though," she added, thinking over her conversation with Enos a few moments earlier.

Jesse gave his niece an affectionate hug. "That's my girl." He looked around at his family, all of whom stood by listening. "Now, we all best get out to the Boars Nest before Rosco forms a posse to hunt us down. It'd prob'ly be the one time he'd wind up catchin' us Dukes!"

**A/n: so, what do you think? Let me know, please! I'm not completely sure on a few details. Should I put Luke and Mabel together? Should I be mean and let Miz Tisdale get Uncle Jesse? I think I already know what to do with Bo…hmmm, wonder why he turned so pale all of a sudden?**


	9. Chapter 9

A/n: For all of you still with me, thank you for your patience. I hope this chapter is worth the wait. Still not mine! (Despite all the begging.) Moving on…

Lulu Hogg was standing outside the Boars Nest ready to direct everyone to where they needed to be by the time the Dukes arrived. Several young men waved at Daisy as she got out of Dixie and headed to the door. She had encouraged many of them to sign up, at Boss Hogg's request, and a large number of the group had signed up hoping she would be the one to bid on them. Of course, none of them knew about her promise to Enos, and she was fairly unaware of the effect she had on those young men. She waved back politely, then turned to her cousins and Uncle Jesse, the truly important men in her life, to wish them luck before separating from them.

_Somehow Lulu managed to talk Boss Hogg into playing the role of auctioneer for the event. Naturally he put the Dukes dead last in line, hoping the ladies would lose interest by the time he got to the boys. Little did he know the persistence, not to mention patience, of a Hazzard County girl._

"Gone! To Daisy Duke!"

_True to her word, Daisy waited to bid until it was Enos Strate's turn and won out over all the other girls' biddin', after a healthier competition than you'd expect for the "Oldest virgin in Hazzard County". But Daisy wasn't gonna disappoint ol' Enos, and the overjoyed expression on his face after she won, more than repaid her for the amount she bid. There was a lot of broken-hearted boys that took the stage after Enos stepped down._

_The number of eligible bachelors dwindled until Jesse Duke stood there on that stage. Care to guess who got him? I swear, Miz Tisdale prob'ly scared off most of them other ladies interested in old Jesse. And I don't blame 'em one bit for backin' down. Uhhh, Jesse looks kinda worried there hisself._

_And then came the moment a lot of Hazzard daddies had been dreading. 'Course, Boss Hogg didn't feel none too eager about introducing the Duke boys neither, mainly cause he just didn't want to have to say anything nice about them. But you gotta give him credit for makin' the effort._

"And now, last but definitely least, Bo and Luke Duke!" Boss Hogg stopped in his introductions, looking out earnestly into the crowd. "Look, I don't want to see any of you gals cheated outta your money, so how about we just quit right here?"

Vehement resistance greeted his suggestion.

Boss cried, over the murmuring of the crowd. "What do you care anyhow? Dukes come a dime a dozen!"

From the back, a somewhat bolder young woman shouted out, "Then how many can I get for twenty dollars?"

_Well, how do ya like that? I tell you what, not every girl in Hazzard is after the Dukes, but enough of 'em is to make this event real interesting. At least they ain't come to blows, yet._

While the group of ladies threatened to turn into a mob over Boss Hogg's suggestion, Bo and Luke glanced at each other, a bit flustered by the attention, but amused by Boss Hogg's reaction to it. Boss Hogg himself grew red, more with irritation than embarrassment. Lulu Hogg yanked him aside.

"J.D., what do ya think you're doin'?" her voice rose to a shrill yell, nearly drowning out the crowd.

"Just tryin' to keep your cute little event safe from them delinquent Duke boys, my little praline," Boss tried his best to sound convincing, but Lulu didn't buy it.

"J.D.!"

While the lovers' quarrel raged behind the Dukes, Jesse Duke awkwardly took the stage. The ladies calmed down expectantly as he said, "Well, uh, why don't we start with my nephew Luke? He's a real fine young man…I should know, I raised him m'self…"

The bidding soon grew serious over Luke Duke with few of the girls backing down, but in the end it was Mabel Tillingham who won. Luke stepped down and threw Bo a satisfied smirk, somewhat relieved it was over and fairly confident that the amount Mabel bid had won the bet between him and Bo. His cousin stepped up beside their uncle, who had just introduced him and gotten the bidding underway when suddenly Lulu Hogg shouted furiously, "What do ya mean, ya ain't goin'!"

"I mean just what I said," Boss Hogg announced defiantly. "If them Dukes is goin', I ain't." He added quickly, hoping to make her see things his way, "Lulu honey, I gotta put my foot down. You don't see what them Duke boys is really like. I'm only doin' this for your own good, sweetikins. Besides, the county needs me more in my office than at that dance."

"Ya can't let me go all by myself, J.D.!" Lulu cried. "How's that gonna look, me goin' all by myself to my own charity ball?"

Boss Hogg raised his hands, using all the powers of persuasion he had at his disposal. "I'm a very busy man, Lulu honey. I got so much work to do, and time waits for no man. So you see, I just don't got the time to spare, much as I'd like to."

"Fine!" Lulu yelled in frustration. "I don't need you, you uncharitable Hogg!" And with that, Lulu stormed over to the audience and threw herself into a seat. Jesse Duke stared in mute amazement for a long moment, then, finding his voice, he moved along quickly and asked, "Well, what are we bid for my other nephew, Bo?"

The bidding had barely started up again when a voice cried, louder than all the rest, "5000 dollars!"

The room grew instantly still. Everyone stared at their neighbor, shocked by the audacity and extravagance of the person who bid. Three people in particular were stunned by the bid: Bo Duke, Boss Hogg, and Lulu. It was hard to tell which fact shocked them more though; the amount of the bid, or that it was Lulu herself that made it.

_Anybody wanna try toppin' that? Ya know what, I think ol' Bo's still in shock. He ain't even rubbin' it in to Luke that he won their little wager._

A/n: Tell me what you think! I struggled a lot with this chapter, and this is the first version I can actually read through without feeling completely embarrassed to post it. Please R and R, and all constructive criticism is welcomed! (Trust me, my brain could use the kickstart.) Thanks so much!


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi, I'm back! Bet ya didn't miss me, but on the off chance you did, I just wanted to say I think I worked some of the bugs out. Hope you like where this story is going, and the Dukes of Hazzard are still not mine. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I just hope you'll stick with me and I'll do my best not to disappoint. Moving on…**

Lulu Hogg hurried over to where the Duke family stood as soon as she could get away from the crowd. "Jesse, Bo, all of ya, I'm so sorry!" she cried once she reached them. "I just—J.D wasn't gonna go and I just found out and I just couldn't go all by myself…"

Lulu burst into tears as the strain of dealing with Jefferson Davis Hogg caught up with her. Daisy stepped forward to place a comforting arm around the woman's shoulders while Jesse took Lulu's hand in his and patted it gently. The boys offered their support as well, moving closer to stand by the distraught woman.

Jesse said, "It's all right, Lulu. We understand why ya done it. Ya got no need to feel sorry. Ya was just upset with J.D., that's all."

Under Jesse and Daisy's ministrations, Lulu's tears began to subside. She wiped her eyes and said, "I know, but it's just awful of me! I didn't want to involve y'all in my problems. I just wanted to hurt J.D.—"

"I think you managed that," Luke observed. "With that bid ya probably hit Boss in the one place he ain't padded!"

"But it's my event, and I just cain't be seen there alone, without J.D…." Her eyes sought out Bo's. "Look, Bo, ya don't have to come with me," she said earnestly. "I'll just pay the money I bid and you can find a gal your own age to come with, ok? I'm real sorry…"

As Lulu began sobbing again, Daisy, Jesse and Luke all looked over at Bo who was beginning to understand the phrase "deer in the headlight look". His expression probably described it perfectly. Bo still felt stunned by the way events had unfolded, but he knew what would be the right thing to do. His Uncle Jesse had raised him right, leading by example, and Bo knew exactly what Jesse would do if he were in his nephew's shoes. For that matter, he knew Luke would do the same thing in this situation. But Bo didn't quite know how to approach Lulu in her condition. Doing the right thing is not always easy. But finding the right thing to say is sometimes harder still.

"Aw, ya don't have to be upset, Miss Lulu," he said hesitantly. "I'll go with ya to that dance, if ya still want me to. So as ya don't hafta go alone."

"Ya mean it?" Lulu dried her eyes and glanced at the Dukes gratefully. "But I know you was probably expectin' to take some pretty young thing to that dance…"

"Don't think I still ain't doing that, Miss Lulu," Bo answered, giving her his boyishly charming smile in the hopes of making her feel better. His plan worked as she blushed and put her hands up to her face to hide it.

"Y'all, I don't know what to say. You Dukes is just such so kind to me, and J.D. is wrong to feel the way he does about you! Bless you!"

Jesse stepped in and held up a warning finger, lightening the mood. "I know one thing, though. You kids had best behave yourselves, cause I'm gonna be there and I'm gonna have my eye on this nephew of mine!" he said playfully.

_While the Dukes put Lulu's mind at ease about the situation and got her laughing again, back in his office Boss Hogg refused to be comforted. His one true love had left him for a Duke boy and he was takin' it pretty hard. _

"5000 dollars!" Boss Hogg wailed, sobbing on Rosco's shoulder. "5000 dollars of my hard earned simoleons! Wasted…on a Duke!"

_You know Boss is out of sorts when even that Boss Hogg-sized banana split fails to console him. But at least he did let it make the effort._

"Well, you know, Boss," Rosco pointed out, "if you'd a just gone with Lulu like she wanted you to, she wouldn't a spent all that money on Bo.

Boss Hogg took a long hard look at his brother-in-law. "Rosco," he said, "if brain cells was dollar bills, you couldn't afford penny candy!"

Boss paced the length of his office, Rosco trailing close behind. "All right, all right, all right. I just gotta find a way to get it all back."

"Uh, Boss?" Rosco said uncertainly. "Ain't robbin' orphans kinda low, even for you? Not to mention, it's Lulu's event."

"I contributed most of it thanks to Lulu's bid, now didn't I?" Boss asked, wrapping a pudgy arm around Rosco as if to steer the Sheriff's thoughts in the way he wanted them to go.

"Well, yeah," Rosco had to admit.

"Well, I'm just gonna uncontribute it, then! So you see, there ain't no robbin' from orphans involved. And Lulu's got insurance, anyhow. Besides, who's gonna be closest to Lulu that night? I ain't gonna be there, remember?"

Rosco took a moment to think about it. "That would be Bo Duke," he answered finally.

"Very good, Rosco!" Boss said sarcastically. "So tell me this, if Bo is the closest person to Lulu when that money turns up missin', who will it look like stole it?"

"Ooh, ooh, Bo Duke!" Rosco burst out excitedly. "I love it, I love it!" he giggled.

Boss Hogg cackled as he picked up the phone to make arrangements. As he put in a few calls, and called in some favors, giving more particulars of a plan he had already put in motion, Rosco was busy crunching the numbers to figure out his cut. Something didn't quite add up, to his mind.

"But Boss," the Sheriff said, somewhat anxiously, "ain't this orphanage fund heist kinda small compared to some of your other schemes? You ain't gonna make all that much…and I'm gonna make even less 'n that!"

"Rosco," Boss answered with a long-suffering sigh, the kind a saint might utter in the midst of tribulation, "it ain't the money, you understand that? It's the principle of the thing!"

"Boss, you ain't got principles."

"But what I do got is a chance to put them Duke boys away for a very long time! Then," Boss Hogg added off-handedly, "maybe I can afford to have myself some principles."

"That ain't likely…" Rosco murmured but Boss was too pleased with himself to listen.

"Yes sirree Bob! Them Dukes will soon be outta the way in the State Pen!" Boss Hogg pressed his hands together, a greedy glint lighting his eyes.

**a/n: I would have had this up earlier but the computer refused to cooperate. Hopefully now I have broken the computer's will and it will obey me like a good little machine should. If not, well… Anyway, please R and R, it would really make my day!**


	11. Chapter 11

A/n: Just when I was all pleased with myself for finishing this story on paper, I reread what I wrote. Will soon be holding the annual "Story burning, dancing around the flames, and marshmallow roast". Anyway, hopefully back on track and reworking what did make sense…or, whatever.

Disclaimer: not mine! All you lovely people who do own Dukes of Hazzard, please don't hunt me down and hurt me! I honestly didn't mean this as an insult.

Anyway, moving on…

It was with varying degrees of enthusiasm that the members of the Duke family got themselves ready and piled into their respective vehicles on the day of Lulu Hogg's Charity Ball.

In a way, Bo and Luke were almost glad when the day of the dance came, because that meant the General Lee's rebel flag could once more wave proudly on the roads of Hazzard. The General had been grounded during the days leading up to the dance. After Daisy had gotten the General shining like a new penny, she'd clipped his wings so he'd stay that way. She'd given the boys strict orders that General Lee couldn't leave the farm unless there was an emergency, and unfortunately for the boys there hadn't been one. Bo and Luke had consoled themselves by borrowing an old clunker from Cooter and giving it a mud bath. But still, it wasn't the same, and both they and the General Lee knew it.

_You know, I don't blame Daisy none. Them boys coulda found a way to wreck that wax job on their way to Sunday sermon!_

As for Uncle Jesse, he dragged his feet like he was headed off to his own execution. If ever a man looked like he wanted to back out of a commitment, it was Jesse Duke, but he'd given his word and wasn't about to go back on it. But he had made it clear that he'd meet Miz Tisdale there, so she wouldn't insist on him riding with her on her motorcycle. His nephew's craziest stunts in the General didn't unnerve him half as much as Miz Tisdale's antics on that machine. At least in the pick-up he'd have a chance to keep his heart rate down before he got on the dance floor. A slim chance admittedly, but still a chance.

Bo was a little worried about going as well. Not that he regretted agreeing to accompany Lulu Hogg to the dance; it was more Boss Hogg that he and Luke were worried about. The concern that Boss might take the situation as a personal insult and strike back with something equally as personal weighed heavily on their minds. But, the boys couldn't see spending the entire evening jumping at shadows, so they decided to try to put it from their minds, but keep one eye open for any potential plots from Boss Hogg.

_Since so many folk had decided to participate, Lulu's dance was gonna be held in one of Boss Hogg's converted barns, rather than at the Boars Nest. Of course, the only thing that was really converted about that barn was the name on the deed, after Boss foreclosed on the property._

And there Lulu Hogg stood waiting outside as the Duke vehicles pulled up.

Despite the fact that Luke was proud of his younger cousin for agreeing to come with Lulu to the dance, and that he would have done the same in Bo's position, Luke couldn't resist ribbing him a little as Lulu hurried over to greet the Dukes.

"Well, Bo, there's your date," he said softly while Jesse and Daisy went to meet her halfway. "Just remember to tone that blonde charm down a bit. Miss Lulu ain't exactly as available as them girls ya usually go out with." Luke gave Bo a look full of mischief. "Course, I think I'd pick Lulu over most of the girls you go out with anyway!"

Bo threw his cousin a dirty glare. "Cute, Luke, real cute." He sighed to himself, not feeling like going at it with Luke over his choices in women like he normally would. This situation wasn't what he would have chosen for himself. But Lulu was the one who was most affected by Boss Hogg's refusal to come, he reminded himself sternly, and he and the rest of the Dukes didn't want to see her hurting any worse than she already was. And seeing her smile through her tears the day of the auction was worth a little discomfort on the dance floor today, Bo decided.

Both boys walked over to where Jesse and Daisy stood with Lulu Hogg. Lulu smiled at their approach. "Oh, boys, I was just tellin' your Uncle Jesse how much I appreciate all ya done for me. I don't know what I'd a done without ya, what with J.D. and all…

Jesse Duke cut in, seeing that Lulu was beginning to grow upset again at the thought, "Now Lulu, think nothing of it. There ain't nothing a Duke wouldn't do to help ya out, if it's in our power to do so. We's just glad we could—"

Jesse broke off as the sound of a motorcycle's engine cut through the quiet of the early evening. The cyclist popped a wheelie and grated to a stop mere inches from Jesse, whose collar and tie suddenly felt like they were dangerously close to cutting off his oxygen intake.

"Emma!" he cried, rattled to his core by her dramatic entrance. "You watch what you is a doin' on that dang contraption!"

Miz Tisdale dismounted from her bike and pulled off her helmet, patting her hair back in place. It was, as always, pulled back into a bun, but she didn't want to take any chances this evening. She smiled at her date for the evening, who in turn tugged at his still-too-snug collar anxiously.

"Don't worry none, Jesse. I wasn't about to hit you." She sidled up next to him and tilted her head up to look dreamily into his eyes. "Especially not when I have ya all to myself for an entire evening! C'mon, let's go have some fun!" Giggling quite schoolgirl-like she grabbed his arm and began to drag him in the direction of the building.

Getting hit by Miz Tisdale's motorcycle suddenly seemed a more attractive prospect to Jesse Duke. Jesse threw his kids a pleading glance as Miz Tisdale led him away.

Bo, Luke and Daisy all shook their heads, smiling in amused sympathy at their uncle's plight. Then Luke caught sight of Mabel arriving and hurried over to meet her, and Enos approached Daisy a few minutes later with a big bouquet of wildflowers and an even bigger grin on his face. Daisy took his proffered arm with an answering smile of he own and they headed inside, leaving Bo alone with Miss Lulu.

Not knowing what else to do, Bo held out his arm for Lulu to take. "You want to go inside now, Miss Lulu?" he asked her hesitantly.

"Oh that's all right; you go on ahead without me. I just want to make sure I collected all the money from the auction," she answered, patting the small money bag she'd gotten from Boss Hogg's bank for that purpose.

Bo grew slightly alarmed at the sight of it. "Are you sure ya want to be carryin' all that money around like that?" he asked anxiously.

Lulu Hogg laughed at his concern. "Now, you don't got to worry none, Bo! My baby brother Rosco is gonna be pickin' it up later on tonight in a big presentation to take over to the orphanage. I reckon he'll keep it safe enough!"

_Yeah, when he and Boss Hogg is dividin' it ' tween themselves!_

Watching her as she tried to reassure him of the charity money's security, Bo couldn't help feeling sorry for Lulu. Somehow, she still couldn't quite see the two people she loved most in the world, her husband and her brother, for the corrupt and dishonest men they had turned out to be. Bo had heard that love was blind, and Lulu sure enough turned a blind eye to what Boss and Rosco had up their sleeves, most of the time. At that moment, Bo Duke resolved not to let her out of his sight while he waas with her, and he figured he and Luke—mainly Luke—could come up with a way to keep Boss Hogg and Sheriff Rosco honest when it came to the auction proceeds.

_But what ol' Bo didn't know was that Sheriff Rosco was part two of Boss's big plan. And part one ain't let him and Lulu and the money bag outta their sight since the Dukes and Lulu got there. Them Dukes is fixin' to get themselves in a pretty tight spot, an' it's bound to get tighter 'fore it's all said and done. As Bo and Luke would say, "Hang on, y'all!" It ain't done yet._

a/n: Still trying to figure some things out in the rewrite, so please forgive me for taking so long to get this out. I really, really hope I don't disappoint over the next few chapters. If you like it, let me know. If you don't like it, let me know why. I can only get better. (I certainly can't get any worse.)


	12. Chapter 12

A/n: You know I just realized what I did. I took the one law officer in Hazzard that couldn't be bought, and I sold him! I'm so ashamed. Fortunately Enos is a good sport and I love him for that, just not quite in the same way as I love the boys. Le sigh…

Disclaimer: not mine! Not Enos, not Bo, not Luke… (Uncontrollable weeping) I do own Jake and Carrie Leigh, but I don't want _them_! (Hopefully they won't come after me for that) Oh well. A girl can dream, can't she? Anyway, moving on…

Luke led Mabel out onto the dance floor, but he couldn't help looking back to see how Bo fared with Lulu. His cousin seemed worried about something, and kept sneaking glances around the room. From the anxious expression on his face, Luke guessed Bo wasn't engaged in his other favorite hobby of girl watching. Luke excused himself for a moment and wormed his way through the crowd to where Bo was, pulling him aside for a private talk.

"What's the matter, Bo? You look about as jumpy as a cat in a roomful of rocking chairs!" Luke asked in concern.

Bo shrugged, not entirely sure why he felt as worried as he did, but fairly certain it was justified. It was one thing to know you had someone on your tail, but just having strong suspicions was something different entirely, and much worse. "I can't quite put my finger on it," Bo said slowly, "but don't you got the feeling that somethin' ain't right?"

Luke had to admit he did, especially when Bo told him the arrangements Lulu had made for delivering the money to its destination. As they talked, Bo kept an uneasy eye on Lulu to make sure nothing happened in his absence. A few people walked up to her, Daisy included, probably to say how much they were enjoying themselves. But so far nothing had happened to confirm his fears, so he turned his focus back to Luke, who was saying, "I don't like it either, but all we can do is keep our eyes open. Ain't no tellin' what Boss has got up his sleeve keeping his arm company. We just got to be ready for anything."

Bo nodded in agreement. "I tell ya one thing though, I ain't gonna rest easy till that money's where it needs to go…"

_Y'all notice how they's both talkin' about keeping their eyes open, but they ain't actually doin' it?_

Over by the doorway a man and a woman stood talking. "She's all by herself for the moment. We ain't got a better chance than this," the man said in a low tone, for the woman's ears only.

She chuckled softly. "Blondie's makin' it easy for us. I won't even have to decoy him away!" The woman turned to leave, pausing long enough to say, "Be careful, Jake. I'll be waiting outside to pick you up once you got it, alright, honey?"

He gave her a quick kiss and said, "Wish me luck," before going to work.

Out of the corner of his eye, Bo caught a glimpse of a dark-haired fellow with a stocky build walking up to Lulu, but the man stumbled on his way and fell up against her. Luke said something else to him, but Bo didn't catch it. He was too busy watching as the man apologized profusely, and offered Lulu a hand up. Somewhere amid the struggle to get Miss Lulu standing again, the fellow did something that Bo didn't quite see, but it got him suspicious, especially after the man began heading in the direction of the doorway.

"Um, do me a favor, Luke?" Bo said, cutting his cousin off mid-sentence. "Keep an eye on Miss Lulu and make sure nothing happens to her? There's someone I gotta talk to. Be back in a minute." Before Luke could utter one word of protest, Bo slipped away, on the tail of the suspicious character he saw.

"Bo! Can't ya wait for just a second?" Luke muttered to himself, wishing his cousin had stopped to form a plan first, or let him figure out a way that they could both check out what had disturbed the blonde Duke. But there was no way Luke was going to leave without alerting Jesse and Daisy, and he figured Mabel would get a little upset if he abandoned her with no explanation. So he returned to her side, focusing part of his attention on her, part on Miss Lulu, and another part went towards worrying about Bo.

Bo Duke hurried after his quarry, trying to be as secretive about his actions as the other he followed, while still keeping up with him. He rounded a corner and looked around in shock. The man had vanished.

"Hey, where'd he go?" Bo muttered, disgusted with himself for losing the man.

"Hi there," a soft feminine voice said close beside him. "You get tired of dancing, too?"

Bo jumped, so intent on the mystery man he was pursuing, he wasn't paying attention to anything else. Then he caught sight of the lady who'd just spoken, and thoughts of the man he was following fled his mind. The setting sun turned her hair a flaming red-gold, while deep green eyes regarded him with a bored expression. It took a moment for Bo's mind to focus again, but then the reason he's come outside forced itself back into his mind. "Ma'am, ya didn't see a dark-haired fella headin your way just now, did ya?" he asked finally, trying to bring his thoughts back to the thoughts at hand. But oh, it was so hard…

"Sorry, darling', ain't seen hide nor hair of anybody out here, except you and me," she answered sweetly.

"_Y'all can't really blame ol' Bo for starin' The girl was a knock-out. Uhhhh, literally, as it turns out. Ya see, he was so throwed off by her, he didn't even notice her boyfriend sneakin' up on him, till it was almost too late._

A small, almost imperceptible noise behind him snapped Bo back to reality. He spun around to face the man he'd been chasing just in time to block the fist the man swung in his direction. He threw himself at the other man before he could recover, knocking both of them to the ground. But as the two men wrestled and Bo threw a punch of his own that had his opponent's ears ringing, a blow from behind connected with the back of his head. Bo collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

_I told ya that girl was a knock-out, now didn't I? You know, this ain't the first time Bo's fallen for a pretty girl. Only I bet when he wakes up he's gonna wish he didn't fall so hard!_

The young woman dropped the tool she'd used to hit Bo, whirling on her partner almost in a panic. "This ain't happening. Please tell me this ain't happening! He's still alive, ain't he?"

Jake dropped down beside the fallen Duke, checking for a pulse. "He's fine, Carrie Leigh. Just takin' a little nap, is all."

That did not satisfy her anxiety. "This ain't what Boss wanted. You wasn't supposed to let blondie see ya! If someone finds him like this it could ruin the whole plan! Now what are we gonna do?"

Carrie Leigh's boyfriend tried to put a comforting arm around her but she shrugged it off, wringing her hands anxiously as she tried to think.

"Look, Carrie Leigh," he said soothingly, trying to appease his girl, "We got the money, and Hogg wanted us to frame the Dukes, right? We just get him and his car outta here, and it'll look like he run off with the money! All right, darlin'?"

She glared daggers at him for a long moment, before she finally relented. "All right," she sighed reluctantly. "Just hurry up and get him out of sight, before someone comes out!"

_Hmmmm, not exactly Bonnie and Clyde, are they?_

Luke Duke tried to watch each person that sidled up close to Lulu Hogg, all the while getting more worried as each moment ticked by with no trace of Bo. Once she approached him to ask the same question that was torturing his mind, but all he could give her was an unknowing shrug.

"When did I become my cousin's keeper? Bo…" he sighed to himself, keeping an eye on the door for any sign of him. It was pretty bad when a grown man needed a guardian.

With Luke's time divided between watching the door, watching out for Lulu and keeping alert for any hint of trouble, he found it extremely difficult to pay attention to his own date, Mabel. As he continued to glance around the room, she began to feel neglected, and she didn't like the feeling. She caught his sleeve as he moved towards the door with the intent of searching for Bo, bringing Luke's thoughts back to the present, and to her.

"Luke, dear, what's goin' on? You're actin' like you ain't all there," she said, trying to force a smile and pretend she wasn't bothered by his lack of focus.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, Mabel," Luke answered, smiling ruefully. "I guess I'm a bit distracted. Bo run outta here a while ago and he shoulda been back by now. I'm just wonderin' what's keeping him."

Mabel's eyes clouded over with her disappointment over the way her night had gone. She liked the Duke boys a lot, but sometimes the things they got involved in and the trouble they caused with her Cousin Boss was just more than she was willing to handle. The one night she was able to be with one of the boys and this happens, she thought to herself in disgust.

"Go on after him, Luke," she said, knowing she and Luke wouldn't be able to have any fun together, as long as he was worried about his cousin.

She took one unhappy glance at Luke, whose face instantly lost the expression of helpless worry. His look of profound gratitude helped to make up for the disappointing turn her night had taken, as did his quick kiss that brushed across her lips.

"Thanks, Mabel. I'll make this up to you, I promise."

"I'll hold ya to that, Luke Duke," Mabel said after him, and then he was gone, leaving her standing alone in the middle of the dance floor.

_Well, it weren't midnight, and Luke didn't lose no glass shoe, but he flew outta that dance like he thought ol' General Lee was gonna turn into a pumpkin, and not just in color. He stopped short outside, more shocked by what he didn't see, than what he did._

"Bo, where'd ya run off to in the General?"

Luke took a look around, hoping to find something that would explain why Bo would leave so abruptly. He found drag marks near a spot where the General had skidded to a stop, and scattered in that area were the contents of the Charger's trunk. Luke knelt down to examine one item he didn't recognize from the General, his fingers coming away coated with a sticky substance that made his worry over Bo rise to new, unforeseen heights. Luke's agile mind began to put together the pieces he found and he hated the picture they formed.

Before he could examine the rest of what he found more closely, Boss Hogg and Rosco arrived on the scene, to Luke's disgust. He threw all of what he'd found in the back of Dixie, so no evidence could conveniently disappear on Rosco's watch, and ran back inside to tell Daisy and Jesse what he found, certain he'd need their help backing him up.

Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane and Boss Hogg were already inside as Luke reentered and all three men strode purposefully across the dance floor, with different purposes in mind. Luke quickly told Daisy and Jesse what he suspected had happened to Bo, when Lulu's horrified shriek pierced the air, halting all motion in the room.

"The money! All the charity money's gone!" she wailed, emptying a bag containing only newspaper cutouts.

Boss Hogg wrapped a comforting arm around Lulu, the very image of a loving husband offering support and consolation to his distraught wife. "There, there, Lulu honey, we're just lucky you wasn't hurt by the perpetrator of this horrible deed!" His voice dripped insincerity, but Lulu was too broken up by her discovery to notice.

"Say," Boss said suddenly, as if he'd just notice the absence, "where's Bo Duke, anyhow? Wasn't he supposed to be here with you, my little praline? He shoulda been lookin' out for you, sugar pie! Unless—" his tone grew instantly and overly indignant—"Bo Duke was the one that stole the money in the first place!"

"Yeah!" Rosco agreed, adopting Boss Hogg's outraged tone of voice. "Him and that no good cousin of his, Luke Duke!"

Lulu's shocked gaze fastened onto her husband and her brother and she announced, "Ya can't think the Dukes got anything to do with this!"

"I can, and I do! I tried to warn you honey, but you wouldn't listen. In fact, stealin' the charity money's probably the reason them thievin' boys signed up!"

"That's a lie!" Daisy shouted above the murmuring of the crowd. She glared at Boss and Rosco, and Enos placed a gentle hand on her arm, as much to comfort as to try to hold her back if necessary as she cried, "I was the one signed them up 'cause I wanted to help Lulu! Boss ya can't accuse my cousins like this!"

Boss refused to be persuaded. "Rosco, go arrest Luke Duke, and hunt down Bo!"

Propelled by Boss Hogg's shove, Rosco stumbled from the make-shift dais and immediately began heading in Luke's direction, once he'd picked himself up off the ground. Daisy quickly pressed the keys to Dixie in Luke's hand before he zigzagged his way through the crowd, Rosco hot on his heels. Before Rosco could catch up with the fleeing Duke, Jesse Duke suddenly maneuvered Miz Tisdale and himself directly in the path Rosco's chase took him, "accidentally" tripping him up and, more importantly, blocking the sheriff's path for precious moments which Luke gratefully took advantage of. By the time Rosco stood panting in the doorway, Luke and Dixie were long gone.

Rosco stomped furiously back into the room, heading straight to where Daisy and Enos stood. Enos wrapped an arm around Daisy as if to protect her from Rosco's onslaught, but she wasn't the target of Sheriff Coltrane's wrath.

"Enos! You was right here standin' there gawkin' when Luke Duke run past! Why didn't you do your duty, and arrest him?" Rosco yelled in frustration, holding up one angry fist almost in his confused deputy's face.

"Well, Sheriff, I was off-duty then, sir, so it weren't my duty to arrest him," Enos offered in response, along with his customary uncertain grin.

Rosco wanted to take out more of his aggravation over losing Luke on the patient Enos, but his deputy was unfortunately and annoyingly correct. The irate sheriff contented himself with growling out, "Well, consider yourself officially on duty, then! Now, get to your vehicle and help me apprehend Bo and Luke Duke!"

"But, Sheriff?" Enos said apprehensively, "I ain't exactly in uniform…" His eyes strayed down to his dress clothes and then back up to meet the sheriff's eyes questioningly.

_Shoot, I'd a figured ol' Enos woulda had his uniform stashed in his car, for just such an emergency._

Rosco was too irritated over the loss of the Dukes to worry over trivialities.

"Dang the uniform, dipstick! I wouldn't care if you was wearin' green stripes with purple polka dots, so long as we catch them Duke boys!" His own face was beginning to turn purple with his rage.

_Don't ya just love ol' Rosco's fashion sense?_

"Yes sir, sheriff, sir." Deputy Enos took Daisy's hand briefly before going. "I'm sorry, Daisy, I didn't want to cut this short, but I gotta go chase Bo and Luke. You ain't too mad at me, are you?"

"No, Enos, I ain't," Daisy said sadly. "Me and Uncle Jesse gotta go anyways and prove em innocent. Go on and do what you gotta do, honey." She squeezed his hand gently before letting him go.

"I hope I don't catch them boys, Daisy," Enos said softly, "but I can't go against my duty."

Deputy Enos Strate's hand lingered a moment longer in Daisy's then slid away, his fingertips brushing hers lightly before he cut through the crowd to pursue the Dukes.

"I know, sugar, I know," Daisy murmured as she watched him leave.

_Unfortunately for Deputy Enos, part of his heart belongs to Daisy Duke, whether she'd have it or no. And t'other part belongs to that uniform he put on to serve the people of Hazzard, and Boss Hogg in the process. And when them two factions was at odds with each other, like now, well, Enos' poor ol' big heart usually ended up tore in two. And friends and neighbors, that hurts._

Uncle Jesse pulled himself away from Miz Tisdale, with a promise made under duress that he'd make this up to her, and held his niece tightly for a moment, before saying gently, "C'mon, girl. We gotta go help the boys."

She nodded wordlessly and both ran out the door, determined to find a way to save the boys from Boss Hogg's plotting, and Enos from facing the awful position of choosing duty over friendship.

_Y'all realize this all started with Daisy signing the boys' names on an itty-bitty piece of paper in the Boars Nest?_

A/n: I had no idea this chapter would be so long! Hope I don't bore anybody to tears; I'm not exactly an authority on writing action. Please let me know what you think!


	13. Chapter 13

A/n: Thank you everyone for your kind reviews. I value your opinions so much and stand in awe of all of the talented writers on this site. I am not worthy! I've been trying to keep as faithful to the show as I can. Please don't let me make a mistake! Please let me know what I'm doing right, and more importantly, what I'm doing wrong! And once again, I know nothing about cars. I'm just borrowing a problem my brother's vehicle had recently.

Disclaimer: not mine! 'Ceptin the bad guys but that's just 'cause no one else would take them.

--

"Breaker one, breaker one, might be crazy but I ain't dumb…Craaaaazy Cooter comin' at ya, seekin' out two Lost Sheep that went astray. Bo and Luke, you got your ears on? Come on."

Luke grabbed the CB mike while guiding Dixie one-handed over the bumps in the old dirt road. "Ten-four, Crazy C, read you loud and clear. What's on your mind?"

"Well, Emmett Larrabee just give me a call over the CB, said he run into a friend of yours. Goes by name General Lee, but the old boy's just settin' out here 'thout a friend in the world and a blowed-out front tire. I was just gonna hook him up to my tow-truck and haul him back to y'all's place, but thought you might want a head's-up first. Say, I was wonderin'," Luke could just hear the curiosity in Cooter's voice seep out over the radio as the mechanic added, "what's the General doin' out here all by hisself? Why didn't you an' Bo give me a call an' let me know he was ailin'?"

"Never mind that right now," Luke interjected. "Did Emmett say whether he seen any sign of Bo around where he found the General? Come back."

"Bo ain't with you?" Cooter's genuinely confused voice asked, giving Luke the answer he didn't want. "I thought y'all Lost Sheep come in pairs? Come back."

"Cooter, I'm gonna need to meet ya where ya found the General. What's your twenty?"

"Close by the old stone quarry." Cooter looked over at General Lee doubtfully, then picked up the CB again. "But, Lucas old buddy, ya sure ya don't want me takin' the General out your way? I can look for Bo while I'm at it. Come on."

Luke wiped a hand over his brow wearily. "Trust me Cooter. I got an idea of where Bo is, an' if I'm right he ain't gonna take too kindly to you movin' the General at the moment. Leastways not till I get there. Come back."

"That's a big ten-four, Lucas Dukas. But if ya change your mind or ya need me at all, just give me a holler an' I'll foller! I'm gone!"

"Ten-four, Crazy C. Over and out."

"As you can see," Cooter announced as Luke arrived on the scene and hopped out of Dixie, "I didn't touch a thing. Didn't even get the spare tire out of the trunk. Just sat back and waited for you like you asked. Now would you mind tellin' me what's goin' on, buddyroo?"

"Well, first off you wouldn't a found the spare tire in the trunk," Luke said grimly, fishing in his pocket for his set of keys to the General. Bo's set was nowhere to be seen.

He turned to Cooter, tossing his keys over to the mechanic while he dragged all the items he'd found littering the parking lot where the General had been parked earlier out of Dixie. Cooter stared down at the keys in his hand in confusion. "Luke, now I been waitin' for some kind of explanation for some time now. Ain't ya gonna give me at least somethin' to go on?"

Luke answered worriedly, "I don't think what you find in the General's trunk is gonna be in any kind of condition to help with a flat tire. But ya might want to check in there anyway, if what I'm guessin' is right."

"Can't just up and tell me, now can ya," Cooter muttered to himself, mentally shrugging as he unlocked the car's trunk, and then stared in disbelief at what he saw inside.

"Bo?"

Bo was just beginning to come to as a shaft of dim twilight dazzled his eyes, after the blackness of before. He stared fuzzily at his friend and his cousin. "Cooter? Luke? How'd I get here?" He tried to scramble out of the General's trunk by himself, but between the confined space, his cramped body and his own lingering disorientation, he needed Cooter's help to pry himself loose.

"Now I know how Uncle Jesse feels climbin' out the General's windows," Bo gasped, relieved as Cooter finally pulled him free, the mechanic also providing a soft place to land.

Cooter grunted from the impact of Bo's body landing on top of him. "Bo, buddy, you ain't exactly light, and my innards ain't used to this kind of abuse!" he complained.

Bo managed to disentangle himself from Cooter, rolling onto the ground while he tried to will his surroundings back into focus. "Hey, this is the old stone quarry, ain't it?"

Luke took a moment from getting the General roadworthy again to answer, "Yeah, we figure whoever it was that clobbered you was the one took the charity money from Miss Lulu. Did you see who done it?"

"There was a fella built about like you, Luke, 'cept he weren't quite as strong as you, and there was this girl…"

Cooter and Luke exchanged a knowing glance at Bo's mention of the lady thief. "Cooter, did Emmett Larrabee say anything about seein' anyone around the General?" Luke asked.

Cooter grinned, running over to his truck. "Why don't we just ask him?" he said, picking up the CB. He came back a few moments later as Luke and Bo were putting their tools and the flat in the General's trunk where they belonged. "He said he saw a dark-colored sedan pullin' away as he was drivin' past," Cooter said.

Luke let out a disappointed sigh. "That could be any number of cars in Hazzard!"

"But," Cooter added mischievously, "the one we're a lookin' for has a cylinder that ain't firin' right. Ol' Emmett said he heard the sound of it, plain as day! And he said they was headed out in the direction of the Boars Nest when he seen them," he said meaningfully. "Now, if y'all don't mind, I think I'm gonna just scout on ahead. Holler if ya need me!"

Bo grinned at Cooter's news. "C'mon Luke, let's get after 'em!" He was already sliding into the driver's side of the General as he spoke.

Luke disagreed. "Let's let Daisy and Uncle Jesse know where to look, and tell her where to pick up Dixie first. Them two thieves already got a head start on us, and you ain't up to drivin' yet, are ya?" he asked, unable to keep all his concern out of his voice.

Bo leaned over the car and fixed Luke with a determined look. "Luke, I could drive the General if I was half-dead, if I had to!"

"But let's not prove that anytime soon, alright?"

Bo shrugged, conceding defeat. Truth be told, his head was bothering him more than he wanted to admit. He slid across the seat as Luke climbed into the driver's side of the car. The General's tires smoked as the boys sped off to find the ones behind the robbery, before Rosco could find the Dukes.

--

A/n: Sorry about the delay. I think I only have one chapter left to go and I'll try to get it up within the next week if I can. Thanks for sticking with me this far, and I hope I can live up to your expectations. Please let me know how I do!


	14. Chapter 14

A/n: Hi again! Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me so far, and especially to those who have reviewed! You're just too kind to me. I hope I don't let anyone down.

Disclaimer: not mine! Except for bad guys. You want em, you can have em. Hmmm…no takers. Ok, moving on…

--

On the road heading out to the Boars Nest, in the passenger seat of the dark-colored sedan the Dukes now hunted, Carrie Leigh turned a worried glance towards her man.

"We shouldn't a left that Duke boy where we did. There's no way it's gonna look like them boys took that money now!"

"Well, it wasn't like the old man in the truck give us much choice, honey," Jake freed up one hand from the steering wheel to rub her shoulder soothingly. "Look, I'm sure the only ones gonna be interested in the contents of that car are Boss, or blondie's buddies, and Boss is bound to have some way to turn the situation to his advantage either way. Ya don't got nothin' to worry about, Carrie Leigh. Trust me."

"Forgive me for havin' a little bit of trouble doin' that!" she shot back at him. "This ain't goin' at all like we planned…"

Jake glanced over at Carrie Leigh and grinned. "Who says we gotta stick to the plan?"

Boss Hogg's hired thief stepped on the brake, the sedan squealing to a stop in the middle of the deserted road. Carrie Leigh glared at him.

"Jake, what are you talkin' about? Why'd ya stop? Boss is gonna be waitin' on us and you're sittin' there grinnin' like a fool!"

The grin did not leave his face. If anything, it grew wider. "Let him wait as long as he wants! I say we take the money and head out of Hazzard!"

"You're talkin' crazy, you know that! Boss ain't gonna let this go…"

"Honey," Jake's tone grew softer, more intimate, "it ain't like Boss is strapped for cash, ya know? And who's to say if we'd took the money to him, he'd give us our fair share? You heard his reputation. Besides," he said, saving his most convincing argument for last, "by the time he finds out, we'll be long gone!"

Carrie Leigh stared doubtfully at him for a brief moment, and then a slow smile slid across her face. "I guess it ain't like Boss ain't getting nothing outta this deal," she conceded. "We get the money, he gets the Duke boys in a jail cell…but let's not stick around to see how he likes the arrangement, okay?"

Jake clasped her hands together between his own before turning the car to head out of town. "Baby, I promise you, this is gonna work out!"

_Now that is one promise ol' Bo and Luke are bound and determined them two crooks ain't gonna keep._

Meanwhile, Luke pushed General Lee as hard as he dared, going at the fastest speed the car could manage over the rough terrain. Even so, he and Bo both knew that even if the car in question had kept to the same road heading to the destination they figured on, it already had too great a head start for even the General to catch up with it, even if the sedan's engine could use a little of Cooter's TLC.

_And to top it all off, long about now ol' Rosco joined the chase._

Bo looked out the passenger side mirror and then back at the patrol car itself, wishing those flashing lights weren't closer than they appeared and groaning in disgust. "Oh great, cousin, here comes Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane in hot pursuit," he said in a half-hearted imitation of Rosco.

"He loves it, he loves it," Luke added, his own voice as flat as the tire in the General's trunk. "We don't got time to deal with him! We gotta catch up to them two robbers, and get some proof that'll stand up even in Boss Hogg's courts that they's the ones that stole the orphanage money and we didn't!"

"So what do you want to do, Luke?" Bo asked, glancing back over at his cousin to see what the older Duke boy had cooked up in terms of a plan.

Luke sighed. "I don't know, cousin. I don't know whether it'd be smarter to lose Rosco, or keep him with us so we got someone official when we catch up to them two. Like Uncle Jesse says, he _is_ the law in Hazzard, however crooked it may be."

Bo had to admit the truth in Luke's statement, despite the fact that it was a truth neither of them felt particularly comfortable with, however long they'd lived with it. Then a dark green sedan came screaming past them and drove all other considerations from their minds.

Luke looked over at his cousin and grinned. "Bo, you hear that?"

Bo answered with a grin of his own, "Music to my ears!" A distinctive sound the other car's engine had made that two boys long accustomed to the inner workings of an automobile was what had caught their attention, and it was the exact sound they were listening for. "Luke, it's gotta be them!"

"And looks like they're high-tailin' it out of town."

Face taut with determination, Luke spun the wheel in a tight U-turn that put the General hot on the couple's tail. He said, "Bo, you let Uncle Jesse and Daisy know what's goin' on. I'm gonna take another run at that dip in the road and see if we can close some distance between us."

_When he says 'dip in the road, ya don't reckon he means Rosco, do ya?_

General Lee flew down the dirt road, throwing gravel and all other obstructions to his path aside. Unfortunately for Rosco, he now became one of those obstructions, entering an unexpected and unintentional game of chicken as the General thundered past with the intention of cutting off the thieves and not in any position to make way for his patrol car. Rosco anxiously veered off the road, trying to avoid a nasty head-on collision…

_It's nice to see Rosco stop to take in the Hazzard County scenery every now and then. They got some real picturesque lakes there, and ol' Rosco's just drinkin' it all in. By the carful._

Bo and Luke glanced back briefly to see how the Sheriff fared, breathing a quick prayer of thanks as Rosco's head broke water and he clambered frantically to relative safety on top of the submerged patrol car.

"Good, it looks like Rosco's okay. Let's let Cooter know what's going on, and call in the reinforcements."

Bo quickly made the calls over the CB while Luke moved the General into position. With Daisy, Jesse and Enos on their way in the right direction, and even Cooter promising to bring Rosco along for the ride, Luke found his moment to put the plan into action. General Lee sailed smoothly through the air, directly over the car they were trying to trap, crashing down a good car's length in front. The General skidded to a stop sideways in the middle of the road, the tune of Dixie sounding out a challenge.

_Bein' as he was unaccustomed to Hazzard County's unusual driving conditions, ol' Jake was a mite shaken up by the sight of cars rainin' down from the sky. I think I would be too, if it was me bein' chased by the Dukes._

Jake turned the wheel hard, trying to pull a 180 to avoid the orange roadblock, but he took his turn too wide. There was a hideous scraping noise, the General's metallic scream as the sedan tore a layer of skin from the Charger's hide.

_And there goes the General Lee's wax job. You reckon Daisy'll be understanding about it?_

But the sedan fared worse, the man behind the wheel unable to pull out of his turn and flipping the car over into the ditch. Its tires spun uselessly as the two dazed occupants began dragging themselves out of the wreckage. Fortunately both were unhurt.

Bo and Luke, somewhat recovered from their own close call, ran over to the downed vehicle and cornered the pair. Bo said to the girl, "Looks like you won't be seein' no more dances for a while, sweetheart." She and her boyfriend looked at each other and held up their hands in surrender, too traumatized to resist.

_Round about this time was when the cavalry started tricklin' in._

"Freeze!" Minutes later, a very wet, very angry Rosco P. Coltrane leaped out of Cooter's tow truck and stalked over to where the Dukes stood with their prisoners. "All right you Duke boys! I gotcha now! You ain't gonna weasel your way outta me arrestin' ya this time, not after ya—"

"Rosco you let them innocent boys alone!" the shrill voice cut the sheriff off in mid-sentence.

"Lulu? But I caught em…with the evidence…" a deflated Rosco stammered out an explanation which Lulu paid no mind to.

"Rosco," Luke said in exasperation, "we caught this girl and her boyfriend headed outta town with the money!"

"That don't make no neverminds to me—" Rosco began, but Boss Hogg, who'd had to share a car with an irate Lulu Hogg that wouldn't sit idly by and let her event be ruined, heard every word Luke said, and added the rest in his own mind concerning what that meant to his own scheme. He gasped sharply as he came to the frightening conclusion, "Them crooks was gonna skip town with my—with the charity money! Rosco, go round em up!"

"In what, Boss?" Rosco huffed, gesturing furiously in the direction of his patrol car, still drip-drying where it was hitched to Cooter's tow truck. "Ya expect me to carry em on my back like a dang mule?"

"No, like a dang jack—"

_Behind the little group, the siren of Enos' patrol car sang out a merry tune, drowning out the rest of what Boss was gonna say. That was probably a good thing, cause Enos shouldn't be hearing the kinds of words ol' Boss was sayin' anyhow. Enos had to shake his head at the strange get-together the Duke boys had got together. They soon got him straightened out on who the guilty party actually was, and the deputy got the privilege of escorting the two thieves back to the Hazzard jail in his patrol car, which ruffled Rosco's feathers pretty good._

Bo and Luke approached Lulu Hogg apologetically. "We's real sorry about runnin' out on your dance, and ruinin' it for y'all," Bo began to say, but Lulu wouldn't accept it.

"Y'all ain't got nothin' to be sorry about!" she exclaimed. "Them two you caught was the ones that tried to ruin it. You boys saved all the charity money! I should be offerin' you a reward for all ya done!"

Boss Hogg turned pale at the suggestion. "Now Lulu, sweetikins…"

Luke and Bo glanced at each other, knowing what the other was thinking. "Now, Miss Lulu, we don't need no kind of reward for doin' what's right. But if you was really gonna offer one, how's about you just donate it to the orphanage along with the proceeds from the auction?" Luke suggested.

_And so, Boss' scheme to steal the orphanage money ended up costing him more in the end, which wound up going to the orphanage anyway. Lulu felt so bad about the way her charity auction had turned out that she offered refunds to the girls involved, but they decided to try having the dance again instead, relieving Boss to no end. Havin' to pay all that back woulda probably did him in._

_General Lee shoulda got a medal for his role in the capture of the thieves, but what he did get was a brand-new paint job, courtesy of Miss Lulu. Daisy informed the boys they'd be waxin' the General for the next dance._

_To save himself further unpleasantness, ol' Boss even agreed to go with Lulu to the dance this time around, leaving Bo free to work his charms on the girls that never got to bid at the auction. Y'all Hazzard daddies can start worryin' again. Lulu did promise to save Bo a dance, an' he's plannin' to take her up on it . How you reckon Boss'll take that?_

_And that's how Hazzard County collexts money for its charitable enterprises. If you thought that was fun, ya oughtta drop by Hazzard in a couple weeks. Ladies Auxiliary is havin' a bake sale. Y'all don't wanna miss it._

The end

A/n: So, how'd I do? Let me know what worked, what didn't work, what not even Cooter could fix…Anyway, thanks so much for reading!


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